A Prank
by Eets
Summary: James sets Lily a task during which she stumbles upon a hideous tartan hat, a new pet and her love for James Potter. Fluffy L/J one-shot!


How? How on _Earth_ do I let myself get into these sorts of situations? It's _more_ than ridiculous and absurd – it's utterly insane!

I am the Head Girl; I am a role model and the very _epitome_ of responsibility… And yet, here I am, sneaking around the Castle with a tartan witch's hat, an angsty Kneazle, a carnivorous Venus fly trap and a jar of essence of troll's breath.

A jar of essence of troll's breath that happens to have a loose lid - I am absolutely dying of oxygen starvation here.

Why, I hear you enquire, would the spotless, perfect and detention-free Lily Christine Evans ever be in such a compromising position? Oh, I'll tell you why…

James Potter, that's why. Because he "asked me to". Since _when_ was that a reason for doing something as downright foolhardy as this – I'm acting like a Marauder! Oh! I have disgusted myself; this is a new low, Lily.

How that stupid, arrogant, moronic Neanderthal tries my patience- this year more than any before. The amount of time I've had to spend with him over the past four months is positively rancid.

Ugh, I always knew he used some secret charm to make girls act the way they do around him – I mean, I found myself thinking that he'd actually grown-up some this year. Pffft, how wrong was I? Never trust a Potter, Lily. That's your mantra, Evans, stick to it at _all _times. Or he'll _strike _when your guard's down…

It was a week ago that we made the deal, on prefect duty. James was pulling the old "you're so boring Lily, take that stick out of your arse for once, eh?" routine and so in return, I was spouting my "James Potter, you show levels of such immaturity that I didn't even know existed". It's what we do when we run out of conversation or are so tired we can't be arsed to make any intelligent discussion. Old habits dying hard and all that jazz.

"So, allow me to loosen you up some!" James said, languidly (It was one of those tired times although Chessie informed me later that fatigue was not an excuse for what I did). I paused in my rant, waiting for one of his infamous invitations to Hogsmeade this weekend. I had noticed these invites getting somewhat thin on the ground this year. It was strange but of course I wasn't complaining. What he actually said surprised me greatly (Rachy told me that shock was not an adequate excuse either).

"I'll strike you a deal," James proposed in his usual manner of supreme confidence, throwing in a hair ruffle too just in case I wasn't impressed enough by him.

"You complete a Marauders-esque prank set by me (and me alone) and in return: I'll spend two hours every night for the next two weeks studying for my NEWTs. And I won't get involved with any pranks whatsoever. Apart from organising yours, naturally." He grinned at me almost proudly.

"Go on then." I replied; James's jaw dropped as did the mental jaw of the_ sane_ part of my mind.

"On one condition: I'll do my prank this time in a fortnight and if you don't study or if you get involved in some sort of stupid behaviour then I don't have to do it."

James's jaw snapped back up again, giving me a challenging glare. "You don't think I'll stick to my end of the bargain – and that you'll get out of this prank… Oh no, Lily Evans, I _will _do my studying, mark my words!"

Suitably riled by one another, we shook on the deal and retired to our individual dormitories.

I didn't get a chance to tell my lot until the next day as we were getting dressed for lessons. Their reactions confirmed my new-found feelings about last night's actions.

"Did you take something before duty last night, Lily? I know it can be monotonous but that doesn't mean I can condone the use of illegal substances."

"I agree with Alex. The idea of Lily being high is much more likely to me than the idea of our Lily Evans agreeing to partake in a Marauders' prank."

"No, Alex and Em, I was not high… Just tired and, well, surprised."

"Fatigue is no excuse, Lily." Chess lectured.

Rach nodded sagely "And nor, Miss Evans, is shock."

I told you.

"Yeah, yeah. I know guys but how can I back out now?" I sighed as I wriggled in my tights. I really ought to try actually putting my clothes away instead of just heaping them in a crumpled mess by my bed but I can just never manage it.

"Although, let's be honest, it's James Potter. He's hardly going to study, let alone forego pranking for a whole fortnight. I'll just keep a really close eye on him and get out of it that way."

Alex poked her head through her jumper before shaking it at me despairingly. "James is a boy on a mission now; you've tickled the sleeping dragon! He will damn well do the work, I bet you."

"Lils, once you're into the prank, there's no turning back…"

I slumped on to my bed, beginning to feel the claws of depression sink into me. Chess knew her Marauders stuff, she's one of them! A co-organiser of the great Spoon-heist of '74… She is a seasoned, veteran prankster.

"It will be, for someone of your perfectionist and straight-laced nature, horrific." She stated, somewhat unsympathetically I felt, considering I'm supposed to be one of her best friends.

We spent the rest of the morning discussing what horrors lay in wait for me.

"Oh, Godric. Sirius Black." Dorcas said, her eyes wide with fear on my behalf.

"Lily, my poor sweet Lily…" Emmy muttered. Rach and Chessie also looked at me sadly as if I'd just been diagnosed with something terminal.

If Sirius Black was involved with the organisation of my prank, then that was it. Game over. At least James might have _some_ mercy on me…

"James said he'd organise it alone?" I clung on to hope, I'm such an optimist.

The others smiled sympathetically. Of course, Sirius wouldn't be exempt from this – he and James are like conjoined twins. I should have assumed Black would be involved, I was told by my mates.

That night at dinner we carefully watched Sirius, if he was plotting there would've been the tell-tale glint of pure evil in his eyes. But all seemed suspiciously calm with our favourite Black brother… James, on the other hand, couldn't keep the dirty smirk off his face.

The waiting was almost worse, I began to think. Maybe this is James' revenge for all my cruel rebuffs over the years: a fortnight of mind games and suspense! I hate karma.

James seemed to catch my agonised staring and announced cheerfully "Anyway guys, I must cut dinner short. I've got some studying to do!"

Sirius's jaw positively dropped. He didn't know, I thought triumphantly – there may be some hope left!

"James, mate, are you okay?" he asked, concern evident in his voice. James nodded happily, barely concealing the grin he was longing to shoot my way.

"Oh yes Sirius, perfectly well but we've only a month before our NEWT mocks!" he replied in a sing-song voice before departing to the Common Room.

And so it continued for the next couple of weeks. James kept his word and studied voraciously every night, even asking me for help and seeming genuinely interested in my response.

"So, you have to add the daisy roots last…"

"Yep," I answered, leaning across his Potions book. "So the armadillo bile doesn't curdle."

"Yum curdled armadillo bile, my favourite…" The look of disdain on his face made me laugh; he joined in and I suddenly realised that we were sharing a genuinely nice moment together.

He hadn't said or done anything at all immature or in any way annoying these past few days – he must have been trying so hard. Desperate for me to do this prank…

"Did he seriously just make a cutesy joke about armadillo bile?" I thought I heard Sirius ask from the sofas.

"Oh gosh, I think he did," Chess snorted. "He's so in laaave."

Psh, trust my friends never to let this go. They are still under the naïve impression that James actually 'loves' me. I, on the other hand, am very aware that this is either:

A passing infatuation

OR

Some elaborate prank designed with my humiliation in mind (And trust me, the amount of humiliation I have endured due to James Potter's crush on me, I could believe this easily).

But unfortunately for me, my dense friends believe that James' "feelings" for me are actually sincere and worst of all, they also think the feeling is mutual. Hah.

Although, as Rach pointed out, he'd have to be pretty sad to have been working on a prank like this for years. Plus, we are actually mates. As the armadillo bile proves.

"But I don't understand why you've said this is wrong?" James pointed to a sentence in his Potions notes where my hands were resting; our fingertips met briefly before we simultaneously pulled away.

I hate clichés as much as the next sane person but it really did feel like an electric shock, the feeling of his skin on mine, and I really did feel butterflies in my stomach.

Once this prank is over, I remember thinking; I seriously need to distance myself from this guy.

I _told_ you he had some special charm. Sirius probably taught it to him. Damn.

Sunday evening appeared, far too quickly for my liking.

"Hey Lily-flower, ready to hear your prank?" James asked, swinging over the back of the sofa and landing beside me with a thump.

I scowled at him. "I suppose you have kept your word…"

He shot a wink straight back at me. "You could always back ou-"

"No."

"Okay then!"

That is the story of my downfall, right there. Now I'm sprinting like a madwoman (or worse, a Marauder) down the Transfiguration corridor, trailing tartan behind me and desperately trying not to drop this damned troll's breath.

You see, James Potter's genius idea to get me to 'loosen up some' was to set me possibly the stupidest task in the world.

He wanted me to sneak into the rooms of every professor in this castle and steal one item of their possession before bringing them back to James for his "inspection".

Kill me now.

I have had to break into the offices of all of my teachers, my respected professors! I think I'm hyperventilating… Damn Chessie for telling me stop carrying paper bags with me at all times. It's not neurotic! I'm just particularly prone to panic attacks…

I think I'll take a quick break from running. James showed me some secret passageways last week; the things he knows about this place are quite incredible. Well, y'know, incredible-_ish_. They're not that great.

Slughorn was a doddle – he wouldn't have punished me even if he had caught me. Just laughed jovially, patted me on the head and called me 'Red'. It's his affectionate nick-name for me. Unfortunately, Sirius (who found in very amusing in First Year) also picked it up when we became friends…

Curse Slughorn, and his loose-lidded jars. This breath _reeks_.

Prof Vector was slightly more difficult – I knocked a bunch of quills off of her desk, clattered everywhere. Luckily, it turns out she's a _major_ snorer. Lily Evans, playing it real cool.

Sprout was the worst though; she sleeps right round the back of the greenhouses. Only thing was, in the pitch black guess who couldn't find the path? Also, take a wild guess who had to clamber through the compost heap. Yes, that's right – me. I almost smell worse than the troll's breath.

Whilst I pause, I check through the items in my bag after having managed to put my armful of junk down.

_**Inventory**_

1 x Jar of essence of troll's breath – Slughorn

1 x Carnivorous Venus Fly Trap – Sprout

1 x Angsty Kneazle – Kettleburn

1 x Tartan witch's hat – McGonagall

1 x Magical number grid – Vector

1 x Zodiac horoscope poster – Sinistra (she's a Gemini – explains her frequently changing temperament. Moody cow is always telling me off for being late to class. That's just what happens when classes start at nine o'clock at night! I like to cat nap, okay?)

Complet! Très bien mademoiselle Evans!

Now to head back to the Common Room, James is going to have _shit fit_ when he realises that I've actually done it-

"STOP RIGHT NOW. Don't you dare move a muscle!"

Shite. I'd recognise that furious, Scottish voice anywhere – I could almost see the nostrils flaring from here. I better go with the primal instincts.

Run, run, run, run – fuck. She's _following_ me!

Through the passageway, James showed me a corridor right he– ugh! It won't open! Aloh- shoot. Alohomora!

Noooo.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good?" Pleading tones, I am desperate. Please take pity, you stupid wall and MOVE.

The soft, insistent and goddamned _fast_ thump of her slippers on the flagged floor - that woman can _move_!

It's opened! Oh, Godric, Merlin, Dumbledore I praise you all! I don't even know what that sentence means – Sirius just says it all the time…

Sprinting now, nearly at the Common Room. If the Fat Lady squeals, oh she's for it! Can't hear McGonagall.

"Carpe Diem" I hiss at the Fat Lady who looks at me groggily.

"I shan't ask, dearest." She smirks.

"No, and you won't tell either!" I respond, flinging myself into the portrait hole. Oh, sweet safety and freedom.

I dash into the warm and real and bright Common Room, launching myself on to the squishy sofa with and almighty thump – completely missing sight of the scruffy haired boy, innocently snoozing there.

"Merlin Lils! You could have just shaken me awake or something…"

"Sorry James! I didn't see you, I was so glad to get back you see! So, I got all the stuff you asked for and I'd just gotten McGonagall's hat (it's hideous!) but she heard me. If I'd been caught, so help me James Potter…

"And so she starts chasing me and I start sprinting (Sprinting, damn it! The things I do for you…) and I used that passageway you showed me – could have mentioned it was password protected and so - " I break off, horribly aware of the breathless exhilaration in my voice and my flushed cheeks and my huge grin.

"That's great, really Lily but, what the hell is that awful stench?"

"Oh."

* * *

><p>It's been a few weeks now and, much to everyone's amazement, James has carried on with his studies. I was helping him with a Charms essay when he stopped me mid-sentence.<p>

"So Lils, it's been two weeks since your last, shall we say, misadventure." He spoke quietly; no one else knew who had done the prank. McGonagall had accused Sirius whose genuine confusion shone through thus getting him out of any punishment, luckily for my conscience. He now fears a rival gang to the Marauders; James and I had to try so hard not to laugh when he angrily voiced these fears one dinnertime.

"Fancy another one?"

"No!" I squeaked at him, feeling my cheeks go bright red. He laughed quietly, his hand in his hair. He wasn't messing it up stupidly, he hadn't done that for a while now I noticed. It just rested there in amongst the curls.

James leant further towards me, a bit dangerously close; despite what I said before, I hadn't stayed away from James Potter now that my prank was over.

There was a sparkle of amusement in his hazel eyes as he smiled, "Then fancy aiding me in a little 'joint misadventure'? I'm quite enjoying Sirius's concern…"

I giggled, still flushed. "Is this the first date you've asked me out on this year James?"

He stared at his quill intently, starting sentences then ending them abruptly. I laid a hand on his arm.

"Because if it is, then I'd love to give you a hand."

And with that I walked up to my dorm, to find Chess and Rach to tell them they'd been right all along, and left James there slack-jawed but smiling.

However, when I entered the room it turned out to be empty. Empty but for my new pet, Yente, my now-trained Kneazle.

I picked her up and flopped across my bed. And I finally admitted it, what I've taken so long to accept and what I eventually realised (ironically) when doing one of the stupid pranks that have driven us apart for so long.

"I love him."

**A/N:** This is a rewrite/edit of this story. I originally posted it about six months ago maybe? Anyway, I'd _love_ some reviews. It'd probably help me to know if I've managed to actually improve the story any. Plus, anyone who reviews a story is just generally awesome!

Hope you enjoyed reading!

Elle xox


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